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Dating & meeting safety

How to safely meet someone from a dating app

Meeting someone you've only known through a screen can be exciting. It can also feel a little strange when you stop and think about how little you may actually know about the person you're about to meet.

Most first dates and meetups are completely uneventful. You don't need to approach every new person as a threat.

A few simple precautions can give you more information and more control before you go.

A phone showing a simple dating profile card standing beside two coffee cups on a small café table

Before you meet, make sure the person adds up

You don't need to investigate someone's entire life before going on a date.

But there is a difference between knowing things about someone and knowing that the person behind the profile is actually the person you've been talking to.

Look at their profile as a whole. Do their photos seem consistent? Does what they've told you broadly match what you can see? Have you spoken live or had a video call?

If something doesn't add up, deal with that before you meet rather than hoping it will make sense when you get there.

If you're concerned the profile itself might be fake, read How to tell if you're being catfished.

An abstract profile card being inspected with a magnifying glass, with a checkmark and a question mark beside photo thumbnails

Consider verifying each other first

If you're going to meet somebody in person, you can ask them to verify who they are beforehand.

A NoStrangers Trust Request lets two people privately verify before meeting.

You can send someone a Trust Request and ask them to complete a live verification. They choose what verified information they want to share with you, and you can verify yourself too.

It gives both people a way to establish more about who they're meeting without sending identity documents or other sensitive information directly to each other.

Verification is not a guarantee that somebody is safe. It simply gives you more reliable information than a profile alone.

For a closer look at the process, read How to verify someone you met online before meeting.

Send a Trust Request before you meet
NoStrangers screen for sending a Trust Request to the other person

Request sent

Completed NoStrangers Trust Request showing the verified information the other person chose to share

Request returned

Tell someone where you're going

Let somebody you trust know that you're meeting someone new.

Tell them where you're going and roughly when you expect to be finished. If it makes sense, arrange to message them afterwards or share your location with them for the duration of the meeting.

It doesn't need to be dramatic. A simple message to a friend telling them where you'll be can make a difference if something doesn't go to plan.

A phone sharing a location pin and a message with a trusted contact, with a small map behind it

Think about where you're meeting

For a first meeting, a public place can give both people an easy way to arrive, spend some time together and leave independently.

A café, bar, restaurant, busy park or other populated location can work well.

Meeting at someone's home is different. It gives you fewer options if you arrive and immediately feel uncomfortable.

That doesn't mean you should never meet someone privately. It means it's worth thinking about the setting before you go rather than making that decision automatically.

A stylised map showing public meeting options such as cafés, restaurants and a busy park

Keep control of how you get there and leave

Where possible, have your own way home.

Driving yourself, using public transport, arranging a taxi or rideshare, or having another plan you control means you aren't dependent on the person you've just met to leave.

If they picked you up, know how you would get home without them.

It's a small thing that can give you a lot more control over the situation.

A small car, a bus and a phone showing a rideshare pickup, representing ways to get home independently

Be careful about giving out your home address

There are plenty of situations where meeting at someone's home makes sense. But once somebody knows where you live, you can't take that information back.

If you aren't comfortable giving a new person your address yet, meet somewhere else first.

The same applies to information such as exactly where you work or places you visit at predictable times.

You can always share more later.

Alcohol and drugs can change the situation

If drinking or drugs are likely to be part of the meeting, remember that they can affect judgement and make it harder to respond if the situation changes.

Know what you're taking, keep an eye on your own drink and avoid becoming dependent on someone you've just met to get home safely.

You don't need to avoid having a good time. Just don't give away all of your options in the process.

What if the person who arrives isn't who you expected?

You don't have to stay.

If the person looks substantially different from who they presented themselves as, another person turns up unexpectedly, the meeting location suddenly changes, or something about the situation feels wrong, you can leave.

You don't owe somebody politeness at the expense of your own comfort.

Move somewhere public if you need to, contact someone you trust and arrange your own way home.

You can change your mind at any point

Agreeing to meet somebody doesn't commit you to anything else.

You can change the location. You can decide not to go. You can leave five minutes after arriving. You can change your mind about going somewhere else afterwards.

The same applies to both people.

A first meeting is simply a chance to meet.

After the meeting

If you told somebody where you were going, let them know you're finished and okay.

If the meeting went well, great.

If something happened that made you uncomfortable, don't feel obligated to keep talking to the person afterwards. You can block or report them through the platform where you met if appropriate.

If something serious happened or you believe you're in immediate danger, contact the appropriate emergency service or local authority.

The aim isn't to make dating feel dangerous

Meeting new people always involves some uncertainty. Dating apps didn't invent that.

What online dating changed is that it's now easy to build familiarity with somebody before you've ever been in the same room.

That familiarity can feel like knowing them.

Sometimes it is worth separating the two.

Take a few sensible precautions, establish who you're meeting, keep control of your own plans and then get on with the reason you're meeting in the first place.

If they're coming to your place instead, see is it safe to give someone you met online your address?

Fake profiles have also been used to arrange real-world attacks, see When a fake dating profile becomes a real-world threat.

More safety guides are available in the Safety section.

Real stories, cases and guidance

Reporting and official guidance from external publishers. Links open in a new tab.

Further reading

Know who you're meeting.

Safer meetings start with a Trust Request.

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